I Am Back

Well, here I am again, unable to sleep, ergo, back to blogging! I feel cheated that the mix of chemicals which put me in a state of deep sleep last night and left me feeling drowsy all day long, has tonight failed to work its magic.

I rubbed sesame oil into my feet at bedtime, used my pump to clear my airways, popped my anti-allergy pill, set my iPhone on bedtime mode to check on my sleeping pattern and with the AC turned on, snuggled under a warm sheet, and ..? Why was I not asleep already?

My legs were restless, my feet prickled, I switched positions, now it was too hot, now too cold, my bed-sheet tickled my chin, my arms were in the way – in short, it was more than two hours, and I wasn’t sleepy at all. R., as is his wont, was sound asleep within five minutes, undisturbed by my tossing and turning. Even his afternoon nap does not keep him awake at night. It is an admirable trait to be able to fall asleep so easily and I envy him.

I used to sleep well years ago but have always been a light sleeper. The slightest sound would wake me up. Somebody had to just whisper my name and I would be instantly alert. There are people who have to be shaken awake even when there is a flight to catch. Not me. The thought of a flight in the morning keeps me up. Having set the alarm for early morning, I end up being awake all night long. My children would snigger and say I should relax, be less nervous. But when I see the rest of the family fast asleep, trusting me to wake them in time, it makes me too nervous to sleep! This was a long time ago of course.

Now the house is empty. R. is fast asleep while I turn on the light in another room and peck at the keys on the laptop. In the morning he tells me I came back to bed at 2 in the morning.

Perhaps the cup of tea I did not have last night is the reason why I am unable to sleep now.